Story 20

Posted: November 20, 2015 in Uncategorized

So, this one involves Travis babysitting. Mild chaos ensues.



Spencer had been called in to the hospital that morning, and Gemmy had classes to teach. Which left Travis to watch Daniel, it seemed. Not that this was a problem for the half-monkey, of course. It was just that he had never been alone with the kid. The boy was a little over one and a half years old (nearing two), and Travis hadn’t gotten the opportunity to stay with him. For the first year of Daniel’s life, Trav wasn’t around. He couldn’t be. Not with the hellish time he’d endured with a serial killer.


But now, he was feeling quite a bit better and somewhat looking forward to this time with his nephew.


Yet at the same time, it made him nervous. What if he messed something up? What if he lost the kid?!


“No, Travis, don’t be a dumbass…you won’t lose the kid…” he muttered to himself.


He sat down on the couch, watching Daniel play with one of his own feet. After which point, Daniel took the foot into his mouth and started sucking on the toes. And as he watched, Travis couldn’t help but grin.


“Getting more hair, little guy…you seriously look a lot like your dad, y’know that?”


It was true, Daniel did look quite a bit like Spencer, with his light brown hair. But he also had monkey-like feet, a tail, and light green eyes like his mother. He was not yet to the point that he needed glasses, but chances were he would be by the time he hit preschool.


Daniel’s attention soon turned to Travis, as he eyed his uncle’s inordinately long hair. Hair that was a little longer than Travis was tall. His big green eyes lit up as he crawled toward the couch, mesmerised by the long red locks.


“…And just what do you think you’re doing?” Travis chuckled, reaching down and picking Daniel up, setting him on his lap. “My hair’s not for you to play with, little guy.”


That didn’t stop Daniel from gripping some of Trav’s hair and playing with a little bit, anyway. Travis just watched him for a moment, looking around the living room. At which point, he found one of the books Gemmy had for him. The pages were soft vinyl and would never leave paper cuts.


“Feel like reading?” he asked.


The younger half-monkey made a noise of some kind, still playing with the hair and chewing on it with his just barely teething gums.


“Well, how about food? Are you hungry?”


A happy coo of some kind, and a declaration of “Foo!”


“I take that as a yes,” said Travis, carrying Daniel to the kitchen to help him peruse the fridge.


He opened the door, seeing the jars of baby food on the top shelf, right next to the triple bacon cheeseburger he’d stashed in there for a snack at some point.


“Hey, lookit that…something in here for both of us.”


He pulled out the foil-wrapped burger and a jar of mashed carrots.


“That look good?” he asked, Daniel reaching for the burger that had been set on the counter.


“Sorry, little guy, but you can’t have one of those ‘till you’re older.”


He grabbed the burger with his tail, taking both food items and his nephew back to the living room. Once back there, he sat down on the floor with them. He set the burger aside to feed the kid first, when he realized something.


“Forgot a spoon,” he told him.


But then he wondered if he should pick Daniel up all over again if he was just making a quick trip into the kitchen to grab a spoon.


“I’ll be right back,” he said. “Don’t go anywhere, okay?”


A coo of some kind, as Travis stood up to return to the kitchen. As he turned his back, Daniel saw it again… That Holy Grail of Hair.


He crawled up to Travis as the latter walked back to the kitchen. Little guy was a pretty quick crawler, as it turned out. Not that Travis realized this.


Nor did he know quite what was going on when he felt something tugging at his scalp. Scanning the area for a moment, he saw nothing. But that tugging persisted.


“Must be a lack of sleep or something…” he muttered as he continued his epic spoon-fetching quest.


It took a short time to find the right spoon, and he returned to the living room…


…Only to se that Daniel was nowhere to be found.


“…Fuck,” he muttered. “Aw, fuck…Spencer’s gonna kill me, and then I’m gonna come back, and then Gemmy’s gonna have a turn and they’re gonna go back and forth until they get bored…”


He took a few calming breaths.


“Okay, Trav. Chill. He’s, like, not even two yet. He can’t have gotten that far, right? And it’s not like you were enough of a dumbass to leave the door open…So he’s gotta be somewhere in the house…”


And thus began his search for Daniel. He took to all fours to search, freezing the moment he heard a giggle behind him.


“The fuck…”


He looked behind him only to see nothing there.


Was this place haunted and making him lose his mind?


He shrugged it off and continued searching the house, only to hear more giggling.


“Nooo…” he groaned. “Please don’t let me be going crazy…I just got back to normal…”


A hefty tug caused him to let out a screech.


“Okay, SERIOUSLY, house… Are you haunted?! …Great. Now I’m talking to an empty house. I seriously have lost my mind, haven’t I?”


A happy coo.


Travis stood there on all fours for a good minute or two.


“Wait a damn minute…”


He reached up, feeling an entire toddler up there.


And it was then that he thanked whatever deity may have been watching out for him today that nobody else was home. Of everything that had killed Travis up to that point, he’d have been happy if “utter embarrassment” were not amongst those causes of death. He shivered at that thought, reaching up to coax the child out of his hair.


“Okay, Daniel…I love you and all, but please, for the love of all that’s good and holy, get outta my hair…”






Did Daniel just say what Travis thought he’d said?


“…What was that?”


“Fuk! Fuck!”


“Ohhhhh, yeah…I’m dead…”


He held Daniel in his arms.


“Uh…maybe…maybe we don’t say that word around mommy and daddy, okay?”


Daniel’s response, true to many children that have just learned a fun new word, was to keep blurting it out, giggling with delight. With each repetition, Travis’ eye twitched ever so slightly.


How to keep Daniel from saying that around Spencer and Gemmy without doing something that’d warrant the presence of Child Protective Services.


“That’s not a nice word to say around people, Daniel…” said the self-professed champion of the F-bomb himself.


Maybe food would calm things down.


Yes, food. Food always helped Travis with that.


He sat down with Daniel again, opening the jar of food. The kid was in his lap, tugging at and playing with one of his pant legs and cooing happily, with a few little utterances of his new favorite word thrown into the mix.


Travis scooped up some of the carrots with the spoon, bringing it to Daniel’s mouth.


“C’mon, kid. Lunchtime!”




Well, that response to food was just blasphemous, in Travis’ opinion.


Daniel opened up to accept the spoonful of food, swallowed it, then clapped and chanted his new word a few more times. Travis went bright red, but fed him a little more. This soon turned into an eating game for the kid, whereas Travis was just hoping Spencer wouldn’t kick his ass too badly.


Once Daniel was finished, Travis got to work on his burger. He didn’t care that it was cold…ish. It’d warmed up slightly during his search, but he was that hungry right now. Plus, it might have been his last meal.


Around then, the door began to open. Travis jumped at the sound, seeing Spencer walk into the house. Daniel crawled over toward him, little tail swaying. It nearly made Travis forget the insanity of the past half hour.




“Well, Daniel…were you good for Uncle Travis?” Spencer asked, taking his glasses out of the toddler’s tiny hand.


“Fuck!” Daniel squealed.


Spencer blinked. “R-really, now… Travis, would you happen to know where he heard such a thing…?”


“Nope!” Travis lied. “None at all! I had totally nothing to do with it whatsoever and was responsible as fuck-”


And then he realized what he had just said and sank down slightly.




“I was hoping he’d get to be a bit older before learning that word, Trav…”


“I know, and I’m sorry. It’s just that–okay, heads-up, ‘cause this is gonna sound really stupid of me, but he climbed into my hair without me really noticing and then I didn’t see him anywhere and freaked out…”


“Climbed…into…your hair.”


“I wish I were making that part up.”


Spencer sighed, holding back a chuckle. “Just…just be more careful next time you freak out about something, okay?”
“Got it.”


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